When Trauma Sends a Shock to the Heart

The first time many people encounter online pornography, they feel a jolt of shock. It may stir curiosity, even arousal, but just beneath that is often a wave of unease. Something feels “off”—like walking into a room that looks ordinary but carries a faint smell of rot. That instinct is not an accident. It’s your heart recognizing a distortion. But because pornography is presented as entertainment, or even as a rite of passage, many override that first reaction. They tell themselves it’s normal, harmless, maybe even healthy. Over time, repeated exposure dulls the unease. What once felt jarring begins to feel familiar. This is the process of desensitization. It’s not unlike the first sip of alcohol or the first drag of a cigarette. Few people actually enjoy the taste at first—it burns, it bites, it makes the body recoil. Yet social reinforcement and repetition teach us to ignore that wisdom of the body. Pornography works the same way. Your first reaction is your soul’s warning label. If Pornography Carried a Warning Label… Imagine if pornography came stamped with a warning, the way cigarettes and alcohol do. It might read something like this: WARNING: Exposure to pornography may cause emotional desensitization, distorted views of intimacy, compulsive behavior, and depletion of vitality. Prolonged use may weaken empathy, damage relationships, and erode your ability to connect authentically with yourself and others. Unlike other harmful substances, pornography does not arrive with this label. It pretends to be harmless entertainment while bypassing your defenses and hooking directly into the body’s most powerful drive. The warning lives inside you instead—in the unease, the guilt, the confusion, and the faint sense that something sacred has been violated. Children as a Litmus Test Children have a remarkable purity about them. They are naturally sensitive to what is wholesome and what is not. Notice how a child often recoils when they encounter cigarette smoke or feels uneasy around someone who is visibly intoxicated. They don’t need education or explanation to recognize that something is “off.” Their hearts know. Pornography carries the same imprint, though in more hidden ways. Even when consumed in secret, it leaves a residue. Our actions, our habits, even our private indulgences shape the energy we transmit to others. Children, in particular, are intuitive receivers of this energy. They may not have the words for it, but they can sense when something is unhealthy, distorted, or unsafe. This is why what we do in secret is never truly secret. The atmosphere we carry around us—the quality of our presence—either nourishes innocence or subtly erodes it. Children remind us of this truth. Their instinctive recoil is not judgment, but a reflection of the human soul’s natural alignment with what is pure. The Wisdom of Chinese Medicine Long before science began to measure brain chemicals and dopamine pathways, Chinese medicine observed the profound connection between sexuality, vitality, and health. At the root of this understanding is the Kidney essence (jing) —the deep reservoir of energy that nourishes life itself. This essence forms the foundation of our bones, brain, and reproductive system. It is the same substance that generates semen in men and governs fertility and vitality in both men and women. It was once common knowledge that excessive sexual activity, especially in youth, could deplete a person’s strength and clarity of mind. Coaches and mentors in earlier times often discouraged young men from sexual activity before athletic competition, recognizing that semen retention preserved stamina, power, and focus. Pornography, by design, pushes the body toward excess. The screen invites repeated arousal, ejaculation, and depletion, without the balancing presence of intimacy, affection, or genuine connection. Over time, this drains the Kidney essence, leaving a person weaker—not only physically but also mentally and spiritually. In Chinese medicine, overindulgence in pornography is not simply a moral concern; it is seen as a theft from your own life force. Returning to Your First Reaction Your first reaction to pornography—the discomfort, the sense that something is wrong—is wisdom. It is your body and soul working together to tell you the truth. Overriding that reaction doesn’t make it disappear; it only pushes it deeper, where it can harden into shame, confusion, or numbness. But here’s the good news: the heart’s wisdom doesn’t vanish. You can return to it at any time. You can choose intimacy that is grounded in respect, connection, and love rather than fantasy, exploitation, and detachment. You can honor your energy as sacred rather than spend it on illusions. Trust your first reaction. It may be the clearest guidance you’ll ever receive. Photo credits: https://www.pexels.com/@mizunokozuki/ https://www.pexels.com/@aloevera/

Crime scene - Do not prosecute

Over the past year, I’ve had the privilege of working as an acupuncturist at a beautiful wellness retreat on magical Lake Atitlán, Guatemala. Retreats come and go here, often lasting a week or more, filled with yoga, meditation, and other wellness practices. The participants are mostly women. Occasionally, a few men join in — but more often, the energy of these spaces feels distinctly feminine. It made me wonder: is this kind of healing more naturally embraced by women? Or do men have their own ways of healing that simply look different? Healing on the Big Island Before Guatemala, I lived for 14 years on the Big Island of Hawaii — known as “the healing island.” The constant volcanic activity infuses the landscape with a powerful, fiery energy that tends to bring unresolved issues to the surface. The island is rich in alternative practices: acupuncture, massage, yoga, and traditional Hawaiian lomi lomi. And yet, there too, I saw the same pattern: many more women showed up for these offerings. It left me wondering — where were the men? If they weren’t in the yoga classes or on the massage tables, what kinds of spaces did they seek for renewal? A Different Kind of Retreat In the remote northern peninsula where I lived, there were a few small businesses, farms, retreat centers — and, rather surprisingly, the headquarters of an international dating site that paired older Western men with much younger women from Asia. I’ll call it Cherry Poppers (a slight change from its real name). Its website featured very young women — barely adults — presented as delicate, coy, and innocent. I began to notice that some men I knew would travel overseas for what they called “wellness trips.” These sometimes included affordable medical or dental work abroad, but often also involved visiting countries where sexual services from young women were cheap and easily obtained. For these men, this seemed to be a form of “healing” — a way of feeling rejuvenated, desired, and alive. To be clear, not all men seek this path. But I did encounter enough examples to recognize a pattern, one I would describe as the “shadow masculine”: healing sought through the consumption of youth and sexual energy, rather than through emotional growth, spiritual practice, or physical renewal. Market Forces and Moral Questions Living near the Cherry Poppers headquarters reshaped my early belief that most men wanted to grow old alongside a lifelong partner. Some did, but others — especially those with money and mobility — were drawn to the idea of keeping a rotating connection with younger women. In their eyes, a woman past her early thirties had less “essence” to offer. This wasn’t always about romantic love. Sometimes young women were brought to the U.S. for a year-long trial that might lead to marriage — but often didn’t. Afterward, the woman would be sent home with gifts, and the man would try again with someone new. Technically legal, it skirted close to the line of exploitation. The Energetic Exchange From an energetic perspective, I believe youth and sexual vitality can indeed make someone feel renewed. But for the younger person, the transaction can be depleting. I remember my own discomfort as a young girl when older men tried to position themselves as my “boyfriend” — even once when I was only five. Whether dressed up as romance or openly transactional, such arrangements are rarely balanced. God intended partnerships to be “equally yoked,” which is hard to achieve when one person brings wealth and life experience, and the other brings youth and desperation. Light and Shadow It’s important to acknowledge that there are men who walk a very different road. I have great respect for those who build vitality through clean living, physical discipline, fasting, and spiritual practice — men who seek renewal without exploiting the vulnerability of others. But I’ve also seen the opposite: men who treat their bodies carelessly, then seek a quick infusion of life force from someone younger, often leaving behind emotional and energetic damage. Choosing the High Road Healing is deeply personal, and men and women may approach it differently. But whatever our gender, we all face the same question: will we seek renewal in ways that uplift others, or in ways that diminish them?  The “high road” may require more discipline, patience, and humility — but it’s the only one that leads to true wholeness in the end. What do you think? These are my observations from different corners of the world, but they’re only part of a much larger picture. Have you noticed ways that men and women heal that are distinct — or perhaps surprisingly similar? What practices have brought you true renewal? I’d love to hear your perspective.

Frequency medicine involves putting on a good pair of earphones and getting really relaxed in your space to absorb the healing frequencies. The more you relax, the better the frequencies can vibrate health and harmony into your body. Can frequency medicine be combined with other energy medicine such as reiki or acupuncture? Of course! Healing is a process. Every little bit helps. Every choice in a positive direction counts. These all add up. From creating a clean, serene environment in your home, to improving your diet, to starting the day with a frequency medicine track. Many small steps in a healing direction contribute to wellness. Several tracks below reference demons. In this context, demon can be understood as bad, toxic or harmful spiritual energy. Here is a list of frequency medicine from YouTube, that is potentially helpful. Banish Sexual Demons | Banishing Frequency Against Sexual Demons Such As Succubus And Incubus Banish Sexual Demons & Ignite Tantric Connection | Banishing/Shielding Frequency Demon Removal ^ Enter The Purification Pool Powerful Light Language: Remove Succubus/Incubus Entities/Energies Banish Sexual Exchange | Eliminate Energy From Past Sexual Partners Healing Tantric Bells - Purify The Sexual Energy, Cleanse Aura from Past Partners, Let Go of Trauma Sexual Energy Clearing and Cutting Cords / Energetically Programmed Audio / Maitreya Reiki™ Soul Purifying And Cleaning Frequency | Purify Your Soul From Energies That Don't Belong to You 288Hz 》SACRAL CHAKRA CLEANSING SOUNDBATH 》Let Go of Draining Negative Emotions 》Chakra Healing Music Clearing your energy of past sexual partners Silent Healing frequency 221.23 Hz | Heal The Feminine Energy While You Sleep - Venus Frequency for Female Sexuality Healing Healing and clearing of sexual trauma and abuse Silent Frequency Demolish Sexual Predators | Cancel all Incubus, Traffickers, Spiritual Sexual Violence Subliminal Image by HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I’d like to evolve the language of sexual trauma from Survivor to Regenerator. For many types of injuries and accidents there is a medical system in place that resets bones, grafts skin, helps the body to repair muscles and tendons. The legacy of deep emotional or sexual wounds cannot be mended in the same way. The injuries are largely energetic, and though the physical body does not show signs of injury, the energetic body holds these memories and imbalances. Supportive conversations with wise caring people, or therapy will help knit these parts together, but what about the memories held in the body? The holding patterns that prevent true relaxation and authentic expression? The term Survivor leaves a person at a point. But then what? To truly heal, a person needs a safe place to rest, renew and relax. Also needed is a supportive social network. Without these, the stresses of life will continue to be a distraction. The external life must be stabilized with respect to housing, income and connections. To heal the feeling of brokenness and disconnection that is held in the body requires work on the energy body. Imagine stepping into a sacred space where great care has been taken to create a tranquil setting just for your healing. You smell copal, faintly in the air. A sacred resin that was burned before your arrival to purify the room. You lay down on a table covered with an embroidered cloth, each stitch painstakingly sewn into a handmade piece of art. The view from the window is a serene and expansive lake, surrounded by Mayan communities and foreigners who have settled here. The sound in the room immediately brings forth a sense of relaxation. It’s as if you’re being transported to a place of healing, in a higher dimension, a gentle harmonic wave encouraging full relaxation. A wise, caring healer awaits you. She is trained in a form of energy medicine that is thousands of years old, practiced to this day in China, Japan, Korea, Tibet and now many places distant from its origin. After a conversation about how you currently feel and how you wish to feel, you recline on the table. A soft pillow props your knees and a roll of fabric supports your neck. She skillfully places the thin needles along acupuncture points to activate rivers of energy within your body. Rivers that have always been there, known as acupuncture meridians. The activation of the points, allows the rivers to flow and wash away energetic debris. Everything has been put in place to allow for deep relaxation. Each detail has been attended to. After the needles have been placed, she advises you to go into a place of meditation and stillness, then she asks if you are comfortable. She steps out of the room. Now, it’s you on the table, the needles activating energy flow that has perhaps not flown properly in a while. The music helps transport you to a place of deep relaxation. You are safe. The more you relax, the easier the rivers of energy can flow; connecting, weaving and washing away what no longer serves. In this state of deep relaxation, you experience a connection to yourself that you haven’t felt in a while. You lay there for nearly an hour, breathing deeply with the music. The healer comes back, removes the needles, and gently checks in to see how you feel. Your eyes are brighter, your emotions more balanced, you leave feeling more whole and hopeful. This is what I wish to share with you. Krisztina Samu, Acupuncturist Image by Pexels from Pixabay Image by Marta I. Seco from Pixabay

Subtle energies teach us many things. Paying attention to them is so important. When we do, it’s called mindfulness. Whether we are talking about the way the human heart opens or observing the nuance of emotions, subtle energies teach us in incredible ways. In the best case scenario, sexual energy unfolds in a subtle way under healthy circumstances, when the right conditions are met. Those conditions ideally are trust, love and care. One myth that needs to be dispelled, is idea of the cherry when discussing female sexual function. The archaic ideas of “popping a cherry”, suggests that a virgin girl is penetrated, breaking the hymen in order to release her essence. True female sexuality is not at all like a cherry, it is more like a flower. It is a flower that can open and blossom many times, over many cycles, producing essence as long as it’s given the right care. Moreover, the notion of “popping” suggests puncturing or breaking a boundary to release the contents of whatever is being popped. Again, this is so wrong. It might be just this shift in understanding female sexuality which will help alleviate many experiences of trauma. The feminine needs to be touched in the resonance of love; love being the highest vibration. In a healthy female, she holds back until this condition is met. When she is intimately touched in a lower resonance, it dims her light and in effect is an act of consumption of her essence. This leaves a legacy of bad energy that needs to be transformed and transmuted and requires time for her to regenerate her essence. A flower must never be prematurely forced to open. Nature has its own rhythm. The flower must simply be given adequate soil and water, and the weeds must be kept away for it to bloom to its maximum potential. The feminine is much like this. In Tarot, as an example, soil is represented by the pentacles which represents material support. Water is emotion or love. When accessing feminine sexual energy, it is not like spearing a fish or some other sudden, predatory, puncturing motion. It is creating an environment of safety and care. Otherwise, you destroy that flower’s potential.  Romance is the old fashioned, and effective way to gain trust and inspire closeness. Creating an environment where the flower can bloom is the next step. Traditionally, this is associated with the masculine protecting and providing. To ethically gain access to the most intimate part of another person is a process that must not be rushed. It requires correct action, effort, patience and sincerity. Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay